Reflection#3

As I look back last week and forward to the next, I haven’t made any plans really.

I focus on what is going on now and plan my life according, if my school needs to get

done then that’s what I work on, if I need to see my probation officer then that’s what I

need to do. Everything else I play by ear. With this kind of planning I get everything I

have to , need to, and want to do done. I know it sounds like a bunch of bull…. But hey it

works for me. As for my study skills and reading strategies are concerned, I still need

work on my study skills but my reading isn’t all that bad, I usually read ahead in my

books even if I have to read it over again. That SQ3R is a little aggravating at times.

seeing that this is my first time in school in a long, long, time I’m re-learning how to get

back on track, I always have room for improvement. The thing that effects me more then

anything is that I don’t have a computer, so most of my time is spent in the skill lab

trying to get all my work done at once but even that gets really tiring. Once I get my

situated and get the hang of things all this will be to easy.

Vocabulary#3

Credibility–adjective

1. Capable of being believed; believable: a credible statement.

2. Worthy of belief or confidence; trustworthy: a credible witness.

Pg71.  In many cases a true war story cannot be believed. If you believe it, be skeptical. It's a question of credibility. 

Own logic- I heard this word more often with my experience in the legal system.

The defense lawyer and the prosecutor both question the witnesses; there credibility determines the out come of the trial.

Definitive–adjective
1. Biology . fully developed or formed; complete.

Pg 76. In a way, I suppose, you had to be there, you had to hear it, but I could tell you how desperately Sanders wanted me to believe him, his frustration at not quite getting the details right, not quite pinning down the final and definitive truth.

Own logic- This is another word I heard a lot among the inmates in prison, talking about there case.

It is preached a lot in church, that the word  is the definitive truth of god.

Grotesque–adjective

1. Odd or unnatural in shape, appearance, or character; fantastically ugly or absurd; bizarre.

2. Fantastic in the shaping and combination of forms, as in decorative work combining incongruous human and animal figures with scrolls, foliage, etc.

–noun

 3. Any grotesque object, design, person, or thing.

 Pg80. The truths are contradictory. It can be argued, for instance, that war is grotesque.

Own logic- Again another word the lawyers try using in there arguments in the courtroom.

I envy people who can just look at a sunset. I wonder how you can shoot it. There is nothing more grotesque to me than a vacation.

War Stories

  I got to here a lot of war stories in prison, in fact prison it self is war zone that never ends. Sure there’s
peace every now and again, on the yard all you here is noise, yelling, swearing and that’s a normal daily life.
The quietness, that’s when you got to worry, looking over your shoulder, back to the wall. But I made it, I'm here free well sort of anyway. There was this guy I worked with for about 4 years in the kitchen, old man Cook. I have a lot of respect for him, he never talked about or mentioned why he was in prison but I found out on my own. Murder was his charge in 1967; he served in the military and did 3 tours in Vietnam. He gets drunk one night and kills 7 Native Americans (most people call them Indians), but they only found 3 bodies. Now his crime is not the reason why I respect him, in fact he should have never went to prison. He did something that any man would have done and for this he gets life in Federal Prison. The Feds and State Prison systems are very different State Prison you can get out early, real early you see it a lot on the news. Were in the Feds you don’t, you do at least 80% of your time, and he got turned down for parole before I was getting out of prison. Not everyone likes talking about Vietnam but he didn't mind talking to me about it, he always told me "Stay the fuck out of prison, don't fuck up and get yourself more time." He was the kind of guy, who liked war, fighting, it was like second nature to him. One day this youngster (think he was 18-20 years old) didn't mind his business and got cook heated, poor kid got fucked up, broken nose and jaw and a busted eye. I looked at his file while cook went to the whole well the stories were true bout Nam, it was all there even his charge.His family was attacked, now the one thing I can't stand as well as the convicts is rapist, child predators. All that stuff you see on TV. about them being the bad ass on the yard all bullshit there the ones who die first. That’s what happen to Cook 7 Natives raped his wife and daughter. Now what would you do if this happen to you?

Vocabulary #2

1. Stash –verb (used with object)

To hide away, hidden place

Pg40. courage, I seemed to think comes to us infinite qualities, like an inheritance and by being frugal and stashing it away and letting it earn interest.

Own logic- he is stashing away his courage, to build it up for a time when he most needs it.

Cops found my stash of cash and kept half of it for them self’s.

2. Chrome-noun, verb, chromed, chrom·ing.

Chromium-plated or other bright metallic trim, as on an automobile.

Pg46. The old chrome toaster, the telephone, the pink and white Formica on the kitchen counters.

Own logic-I know what the word means from past experiences.

The rims on my car were chromed.

3. Censure-noun, verb, -sured, -sur·ing.

–noun

1.

strong or vehement expression of disapproval: The newspapers were unanimous in their censure of the tax proposal.

2.

an official reprimand, as by a legislative body of one of its members.

 

Pg45. I couldn't make up my mind. I feared the war, yes, but also feared exile. I was afraid of walking away from my own life, my friends and my family, my whole history, everything that mattered to me. I feared losing the respect of my parents. I feared the law. I feared the ridicule and censure.

 

Own logic- I hear the word censure alot when I watch the news.

 

I was worried about the disapointment and censure from my parents about my failed homework assignment.

 

 

Weekly Calendar

Have to do

1. finish content area prject

2. Study for Auto131 test

3. Study Japanese101 also work on course book chapter3

4. work out 2 hours a day

Need to do

1. get cought up in all my classes

2. clean house

3. find a part-time job

Want to do

1. get more sleep

2. read more

3. play games

Vocabulary

Poncho noun, plural -chos.

a blanketlike cloak with a hole in the center to admit the head, originating in South America, now often worn as a raincoat.

In April, for instance when Ted Lavender was shot they used his poncho to wrap him up, then to carry him across the paddy, then to lift him in the chopper that took him away.

Own logic- The phrase "they used his poncho to wrap him" shows us it was a sort of big garment.

My lab partner stole my poncho so he could use it while he dances to banda.

Wounds That Don't Heal

   I am not proud of what  I have done in this life, through out my life I’ve been told how a nice guy I am , that “ you have a good heart.” How can this be true  if the things I have done are of the opposite side, I didn’t it at the time or rather think of it in that way. I have hurt a lot of people, people whom I grew up with since I was in 1^st grade and those whom I never knew.  Most of all I betrayed the trust of the only person I ever cared for. We have been together off and on for years , she’s been by my side through the good times  and been there for me through my worst. In her greatest time of need, I wasn’t there for her. Never did I believe that our relationship couldn’t be fixed that I couldn’t make things right again. Sitting in my cell I often reflected of the wrong choices I have made, watching the news seeing all the terrible  crimes going on in the world. Man  how I felt like a piece of shit (now I didn’t do those kind of crimes I still contributed to the evil). I am not a violent person always believed fighting was a last resort beyond all compromise, but that day I got a letter saying that  she passed away. This was the worst feeling I have ever had words can not describe what I was going through but all hell broke loose, no more making it up too her, no apologies, no nothing. The last time I have seen her was the morning before my arrest, its been over 5 years now I’m not looking for sympathy I do not deserve  forgiveness. This is my second chance at life, its time for me to get squared.