Wounds That Don't Heal

   I am not proud of what  I have done in this life, through out my life I’ve been told how a nice guy I am , that “ you have a good heart.” How can this be true  if the things I have done are of the opposite side, I didn’t it at the time or rather think of it in that way. I have hurt a lot of people, people whom I grew up with since I was in 1^st grade and those whom I never knew.  Most of all I betrayed the trust of the only person I ever cared for. We have been together off and on for years , she’s been by my side through the good times  and been there for me through my worst. In her greatest time of need, I wasn’t there for her. Never did I believe that our relationship couldn’t be fixed that I couldn’t make things right again. Sitting in my cell I often reflected of the wrong choices I have made, watching the news seeing all the terrible  crimes going on in the world. Man  how I felt like a piece of shit (now I didn’t do those kind of crimes I still contributed to the evil). I am not a violent person always believed fighting was a last resort beyond all compromise, but that day I got a letter saying that  she passed away. This was the worst feeling I have ever had words can not describe what I was going through but all hell broke loose, no more making it up too her, no apologies, no nothing. The last time I have seen her was the morning before my arrest, its been over 5 years now I’m not looking for sympathy I do not deserve  forgiveness. This is my second chance at life, its time for me to get squared.